Turner’s Creed (A satirical poem on the modern mind)


We believe in Marx, Freud and Darwin
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don’t hurt anyone
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before, during, and
after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything’s getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.

We believe there’s something in horoscopes
UFO’s and bent spoons.
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha,
Mohammed, and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher though we think
His good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same-
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of creation,
sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.

We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens
they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then its
compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps
Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Kahn

We believe in Masters and Johnson
What’s selected is average.
What’s average is normal.
What’s normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and
bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors .
And the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It’s only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth that
is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth
that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds,
And the flowering of individual thought.

If chance be
the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky
and when you hear

State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man
Worshiping his maker.

-Steve Turner, appears in Ravi Zacharias book Can Man Live Without God?

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3 thoughts on “Turner’s Creed (A satirical poem on the modern mind)

  1. Howdy, Erik!

    Sorry for my lack of response–end of term’s a busy time for me–and I’ll get to responding to the other thread in a little bit.

    Just wanted to pop in and say that first off, still reading the blog, and secondly, this post amuses me greatly. See, it’s supposed to be satirical, and it’s either doing an excellent job or a horrible one, because except for the bits about horoscopes, spoons, and UFOs (superstitious nonsense); Ghengis Khan (an incredibly intelligent man who, in addition to his admittedly quite-evident bloodthirstiness, was also a spreader of culture, the ruler of a largely meritocratic society, a religiously tolerant man, and quite clever in his economic management of conquered lands); and the belief in man’s inherent goodness, I DO think most of these things. They sound perfectly logical to me. So if Mr. Turner’s goal was, as I suspect from the direction of the book the poem is from, to imply that these descriptions of “the modern mind” are accurate, then bully for him. However, I don’t see in here where he’s made any case for the negativity of these things, so I think the satire is ultimately fairly weak. Sure, randomness can lead to violence and horrible things. So can order and belief in god. But more importantly, Turner misses the point–if he’s going to credit “chance” with things such as bombings and killings, he must also allow for chance to have produced the most beautiful things in the world as well. Why can he make the claim that it causes all the horrid things and not the good ones? Seems sort of silly to me.

    -D

    • Haven’t forget about you, forgive this terse and delayed reply. I’ve been busy, busy busy.

      The goal of the poem is to show the sad contradictions in the relativistic modern mind on a whole. I’ll try and get into it more maybe later.

      You mention beauty. How does the materialism account for the appreciation for the beauty? I would posit that aesthetic value is an objective reality that cannot be reduced to `nothing but atoms in the void’.

      Glad you’re still reading.

  2. I came across your blog from your comment today over at Tom Gilson’s blog Thinking Christian. I’ve read at a couple of your posts here and am thankful for the opportunity to do so. Good stuff!

    Anyway, I listen to Ravi’s talks on my Droid through the Bible app. I’ve heard him mention this poem on a couple different occasions and always crack up when I hear him reference it. Thanks for posting it. You’ve inspired me to share it as well.

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